When you bring me my steak tonight,” The man complains, “I will be sending it back because you and the cooks here won’t get the order right.” I take a moment to form a diplomatic answer and squelch an instinctive retort about the wisdom of eating here in the first place. After a silent count … Continue reading Cooking With My Feet
The table of diner’s laughed when they heard me ask our cook what "de jour" was made of. I had been in New York City only a week. No one had ever spoken French to me before. The manager gently explains to me that du jour means daily and that tonight it is a chicken … Continue reading Spitting Perrier
When I saw the fresh raw pig’s foot on my doorstep that morning, I was pissed. I had asked for a head. Who the fuck was going to be shocked by a foot? They sell them as a delicacy for Christ’s sake. Sighing, I pick up the paper plate that it’s sitting on and carry … Continue reading The Pig Foot
"Despacio!" My sewing teacher yelps at me. "Mas despacio! Por favor!” My translator, a young Mayan kid, takes a gulp off of his pineapple Boing soda and says, “Not fast, not going so fast.” It takes me a minute to realize that Roberto is speaking to me. I am concentrating on pumping the treadle on … Continue reading More Slowly Please
“Come to Sisal.” I insisted. “You’ll see real Mexico there and it will be way cooler,” I promised. I have never been to Sisal, and the students that had gone the previous year had not filled me in on the place. But I assumed that if Woolman Hill was going, it had to be fantastic.
I stood in the dim shadows of the Tienda, clutching my twenty peso note. It had to feed me for the entire day, and appease a nicotine addiction as well. Mexican cigarettes in 1975, fortunately, were only 2 pesos, if you weren’t fussy about taste. At the tender age of fifteen, along with an established … Continue reading Saving my Bacon
Her voice floated down the hallway of the expensive high rise apartments. “You’re being very cruel, JJ. Very cruel." I push the elevator call button frantically as if she is going to come chasing me down the plushly carpeted corridor with what? Her dentures? That crazy old bat's voice continues to taunt me as I … Continue reading JJ and the Mad Hypnotist
I heaved a deep sigh when I heard the familiar jingle-jangle of the belt buckle. Sometimes it sounded like a pocket full of keys --I had been fooled before. I look at my lap and the seat to my right in the darkened cinema. I brought a pile of Chinese food and other snacks for … Continue reading Movie Masturbators
This is the excerpt for your very first post.